Thoughts from TNP's coverage on bullying ...

The 2 articles from TNP on bullying in school reminded me of my own experience when I first moved to Singapore.

Not being able to speak English and very little Chinese, I too was the target of bullying among my classmates.  Fortunately for me, I made some friends who took the same school bus together and I was not alone like many victims reported in the paper.  Fortunately for me too, I finally recognised I was being unjustly treated, and fought back.

I surprised myself then when I discovered I was stronger that the bullies. In a one-against-two fight, I knocked both down.  That was in lower primary.  Nobody from my level ever raised a hand against me after that.

In upper primary, I encountered bullies from those in extended monolingual class (a system scrapped by now).  They're older, and bigger.

Whether it is through innate wisdom or sense of self-preservation, I avoided engaging them physically but just stood my ground.  And they learned soon enough I had no qualms reporting them to the office.

The first time I did that, the discipline master in the office actually sent me to go up alone to the bully's class to summon him down to the office.  Fortunately, I was too inexperienced to recognise what a stupid thing it was for the discipline master to do.

Walking ahead of me, the bully punched his fist to the wall on the way to the office, and there, I witnessed him being caned.  Much later, I was told that the bully tried to find out from my classmates how I go home from school, but no one dared to say anything.  Ironically, that particular classmate was someone I didn't like, but my friend was telling me to ease up with him. I'm not a perfect guy either. In any case, I never tried to hide my movements so if the bully spied on me, he'd find out eventually.

At that time, my deduction was bullies mentally sized up their potential targets.

There were those who are too timid to resist.  They're the easy ones, fun to pick on.  They 'play the game'.

There were those who fight back in such a way they descend to the same level as the bullies.  These become "bad boys" too in the eyes of the teachers.  They 'play the game' too.

Then, there are those who refuse to play the game, like me.  And the bullies avoid antagonising us.

Mine was a neighbourhood primary school, straddling between HDB estate and landed private housing estate.  Eventually, I see enough of them outside school in the local neighbourhood and they stopped pretending to be aggressive to me.

Can't say we're friends, we're not.  But it was a strange feeling when I realised these bullies are just ... acting.  I'm not sure if it was a role expected of them being in extended class, or what reason.

I'm glad I stood up for myself.  Now, I got to look out my own children growing up and encountering their own bullies.

But the worst bully in my primary school were not those over-aged kids.  It was my first form teacher who taught Mandarin.

She was very snideful of new students who for whatever reason, she took a dislike from the start.  I was not the latest student to join her class that year.  There was another student, and on his first day, she actually said of the student "也不是什么好东西".  And he had not done anything wrong.

It was my first time in a strange foreign land.  What do I know about what I'm supposed to do when given donation card (don't even know what they were then).  I didn't understand the instruction, and didn't understand I'm supposed to bring them back, with some money.  And I didn't understand the repeated reminders ... until once she got so fed up she pulled my ears.

And not only did she denied she pulled my ears, she confronted me in front of the whole class about it.  My only regret was I was too young to do anything else but keep quiet to her accusations.  I did remember tearing in silence.