http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,130943,00.html?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_bully_lesson
I think the picture says it all.
From what I read, it seems that the mother does have a link with her daughter, and knows what's she's doing.
Would I do the same if my kids misbehave? I would if I deem it appropriate for what they did and it would help them learn something important, and learn the right thing.
Would this discourage other bullies? Maybe. More importantly, would this encourage other victims of bullying to speak up for themselves? I can only hope so.
In a previous week, I read of a mum who finally won her case against the local education board in her area for her son who had been bullied more than a decade before, when he was just starting school. When she complained to the school, none of the education staff took her seriously, dismissing bullying as a part of life.
Well, crime is a part of life, but nobody says I got to live with it. To do otherwise is to legitimise what is wrong and embolden the perpetrator.
Here's something we won't see in Singapore, I'm sure.
(stop blog now ... snowylad awake ...)
(Started the blog on Monday ... resuming this on Friday)
If you know what I'm talking about, then you might bet we'd see instead the figure of the father of the perpetrator kneeling.
It might be a reverse effect,. but it all depends on the child's character, if she's a rebel even if you put her ten times the same punishment, she won't feel anything, not only she won't amend her way, she will purposely do it more often to take revenge. She needs someone who can make her realise that her act is wrong. Then perhaps she will be more willingly to change.
ReplyDeleteJust the movie---FREEDOM WRITERS . The teacher who changed the lives of a class of troublemaker kids. She try various methods to let them to let this kids willingly to write about their problems. The school itself look down on them because of their behavior and refused to pay more attention to help these problematic kids.
I think I should get the book to read it. Now the sale is on.
Children are live beings, not robots or machines. Although we the parents would wish for perfect behaviour children and we educate and polish them since they were foetus in our bellies, but if the children are influenced by their so-called best friends and buddies in a negative way, there is a limitation a parent can do. This is especially children during puberty age - most rebellious.
ReplyDeleteI know of mothers who quit their jobs to become full time mothers for their rebellious children, but again not every one can afford to do the same. Many have to work for the bread.
If the child have a happy family and even if he's been influence by his friends or buddies, he will still listen to the parents . But if she/he have a problematic family, then it not's easy to change their mindset because she/he felt that only friends can understand their inner problems. The worse scenario is when parents don't understand the child and use the traditional method-- beating & scolding.
ReplyDeleteI've two cases on the Chinese radio station
1) a Junior College girl and her mother were in shocked when the doctor told the mother that her daughter have been pregnant for more than 5 months. The mother did not scold or say anything in front of the doctor but nobody knows what happened after they left the clinic.
2) A couple brought their daughter to the social worker. They talk separately to both parents and the girl. After her parents left, she told that she do it purposely to anger her parents. ( can't remember what she did but it seems like a serious case)
How effective it is really depends on the relationship between the mother and the child.
ReplyDeleteIt is possible it could work, but it takes a certain relationship. Certainly not something for just any misbehaving child!
Depending on the level and the type of misbehaviour and misconduct of the young person too, say 18 years old. Neither a kid nor a complete matured adult, but who insist he knows what he is doing.
ReplyDeleteLets say if the young person, under the influenced of his friends (or colleagues if he is already working, part-time perhaps), took up drugs and got himself addicted to it, it will not be easy for him to kick the habit no matter how kind or understanding the parents are to him. He may steal, break-in, rob or even kill to get the money he needs to pay for the drugs.
Take for instance the young man who injected mercury into his grandma's to steal the money, his grandma loves him and I am sure he knew it. But he could not help it to perform the crime.
What I am trying to say is, there are many different cases arise out from different environment and circumstances. In a Boy's home, or Girl's home, although not all of them, but there are cases that some of these strayed and lost kids come from good homes. They screwed up their life because they made a mistake, mixed with the wrong company. Do not under-estimate the power of "buddies" especially those "buddies" who are out to 'fish' the innocent ones.
Let me share with you, yesterday after the teacher-parent-meetings, some classmates of ben invited him for a movie and outing. I overheard and I gave ben the approval to go before ben said anything. Ben gave me a long hard look into my eyes and said to his classmates, No he has to go to his grandma's house for dinner after a movie with me, then turned to look at me, asked me whether I have forgotten.. somehow I read his mind, and I quickly played along with him, said yes I have forgotten all about it, and Ben could not join them.
Later when we were out of the school compound, I asked ben the reason for not joining the group. He said the group is noisy in the public, and one of the boys actually use the vulgar language quite often. So he does not like to go outings with them. So now I also realised why the last time ben rejected their invitation to ice-skating and movie outing.
I was fortunate that ben has some brains to know what is right and wrong. Probably we as parents always share with them the latest crime news and consequences of the wrong doings. I always tell my boys how important it is to take the right path.. our life is like a railway track, one takes the wrong path and he will end up the wrong way and sometimes it is hard, or ever no turning back.
But not all children thinks like ben, because all kids like to have fun. Imagine if ben wants to have fun too and do not want to be out-cast from his friends so he joins them, in time to come I cannot imagine what will happen to him.
Parents must always be on their toes to watch out what their kids are up to. But I don't like the idea that every time when a kid turned strayed, its the parents' faults. Or the school's fault. Probably. Perhaps. But not every case. Strayed children could come from good families too.
Maybe we should blame the society. Its the society's faults. Its Bill Gates's fault for bringing in Windows, for MSNs, for internet, for the media, for you-tube etc as these are the roots of the cause, and damn it, makes the parents' job harder than ever to manage their kids, like as though work and issues like bringing in the bread is not enough.
ok time to pack up and go home, its 7pm already. ;-)
They're tools, just like a gun or a knife is a tool. Whether or not it is used for evil is another matter and entirely based on the character of the tool-wielder.
ReplyDeleteI was referrring to the young ones using them in the wrong way. Even if parents lock up their pcs or set passwords or set a timing for play, there are cafes out there that not only serve coffee or tea - internet cafe. All the older kids need to do is to lie to their parents they have CCAs.. they usually go in groups. Its the temptations and the external factors that influence the kids that is the concern.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, i think i over-reacted, was rushing it so that i wont be the last one to leave office then end up got to lock all doors.. ;-P went overboard, got carried away by my thoughts.
It's ok lah. ;-)
ReplyDeleteI know what you mean.
Different people, different thresholds, different reactions, therefore different punishments. No one shoe fits all.
ReplyDeleteYes agree. No one shoe fits all.. Depends on different circumstances and situations.
ReplyDeleteprecisely why I believe things like punishments, equality, morality, "basic human rights", has to be as varied as humanity is.
ReplyDeletewa deep... u have ink.. hahaha! yes same sentiments here, except you said it better and more meaningful.. no kidding.
ReplyDeletei would say it in plain english so my kids can understand - "no work else no play!"
XD!
Work hard, but also play hard. Left hand, Right hand. Yin and Yang. Can't have one without the other.
ReplyDelete*chuckle chuckle chucke* ok ok ok... got it pal!
ReplyDelete