| Rating: | ★★★★★ |
| Category: | Books |
| Genre: | Religion & Spirituality |
| Author: | Anthony De Mello |
Came across a couple of news of impersonators found at Stanford University ...
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/24/MNG17Q1AES20.DTL
and ...
http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2007/05/26/IMPOSTER.TMP&feed=rss.news
same incident ... Imposter II? Four years in Varian
http://daily.stanford.edu/article/2007/5/25/imposterIiFourYearsInVarian
The summary is ... 2 people (both females and of East Asian descent) had been discovered passing themselves off as undergrad and postgrad in Stanford University respectively.
It might boggle the mind what these people had been up to, but it also reminded me of a similarly weird incident during my first year in JC.
There was also this girl who wore the school uniform and hung around in the canteen, pretending to be a student in my JC.
At first, I took her to be a friend or classmate of one of my friends, and treated her with friendliness. She herself made it a point to take the initiative to talk to others. Not sure if she ever actually attended any lecture, but especially during the first year, no one would really know she's not a student 'cos the lecture group is so big.
It really freaked us out when I learned from the same friend later that the girl was not her classmate nor friend, and was not even a student ...
How it was discovered, I never learnt, though I did hear the girl's mum came to our JC to take her home.
In our minds back then, all we think of was she's a nut case. Didn't matter whether she was deluding herself, or merely out to delude others.
Yeah, we knew our JC was an elite institution, and many excellent students tried and were unable to get in, including one of my best friend back then who was a head prefect in his secondary school. As we had studied together for our 'O' levels, I know he was strong academically too. In fact, my getting in and not him (based on our prelim results) was due to me being from an affiliated secondary school. He went to another premier JC and is practicing succesfully as a doctor today. But I still remembered the disappointment on his face when we went to check the results of our posting together.
Psychologists have long identified people with certain delusional disorder.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Impostor has a long list of impostors, some who know what they were doing, some not.
I can't say I really sympathise with those who resorted to being impostors when they could not be the 'real thing'.
But on the other hand, it also reminded me that some of them were under great pressure from people around them, like parents ...
It is a warning to me never to create such a relationship with my children where such pressure is due and they could not talk to me honestly.
I hope in the coming years, when I expect Singapore to be under greater pressure, Singaporeans will also adopt a pragmatic approach and face up to the truth rather than delude themselves thinking all is still well.
Various industries in Singapore had already suffered shock-treatments ... marine ... construction ... manufacturing ...
But the Singapore government continue to paint a rosy picture, and many Singaporeans are still splurging hard earned money on doubtful expenditures, especially "bubble" stuff ...
The story of Dr. Kellie Lim, who lost both her legs, her dominant arm, as well as 3 fingertips on the other hand, from megingitis at 8 years old.
Her own mother, Sandy, was blind in her 20s, and raised 3 children.
Kellie Lim will graduate from UCLA's medical school this Friday.
"Ms Lim carried out her medical training with a determination that awed her professors and fellow students and won her the school's top prize for excellence in paediatrics.
She lives on her own in an apartment with no special features for the handicapped and drives a car with only one adaptation: a turning knob on the steering wheel.
She will only use a prosthetic arm for tasks at home, such as assembling an Ikea desk by herself."
We could say that the US is a progressive society which give opportunities, but ultimately, it is a question of the mind.
That is one of the reason why I am utterly opposed with the notion that it is more merciful to abort or allow to die some children with defects.
I can understand the challenge being too daunting for some people, but who are they to stand in the way of those who are more courageous?
Their idea of mercy is nothing more than an attempt to assuage their own guilt, their own unwillingness to face up to the existence of such challenges, and worse, they'd rather no one else succeed rather than be reminded of their own limitations.
I need to remind myself to quit complaining and keep moving.
I don't want to be a loser next to her because of my attitude.
Sometimes, casual talk can lead to serendipitous enlightenment ...
I have in mind the recent exchanges between AB, Ur and myself on relating to someone of a certain professed religion.
From their POVs, as I understand what they stated, a person is a person in his own right, and what he likes/dislikes, can/cannot, are not defined by his professed religion.
To a certain extent, I concur.
After all, no one who knows her would say a vorpal-sharp sword would be a most unsuitable present for a certain Imperial Marshal MKY, just because she's a lady.
The fault here would be in the assumption that girls don't like weapons.
Besides the fact that such stereotypes are on the decline, in the first place, there is never such a rule, unless one subscribes to the Victorian "Guide for well-bred ladies" or 班昭's 《女诫》, which I'm quite aware MKY does not (but do correct me if I'm wrong).
But what about when someone is supposed to be a Muslim? Could we as friends, simply treat him to a beer when AFAIK, alcohol is supposed to be prohibited? Even though we know the chappy does take an occassional Tiger himself?
Well, there's really 2 answers the chappy himself could give to clarify his own position.
1. It's a general misconception that his religion prohibits alcohol consumption, or at least, the version of the religion he personally subscribes to.
This is quite a normal thing. Misconceptions abound. The charge that Catholics worship the Virgin Mary came from Protestants. There're some stout defence against the charge that Confucianism denigrates women. Happens all the time, folks.
2. It's not a misconception, the chappy is flouting the rules he's supposed to follow, he knows it.
Well, it's really rules he's supposed to follow, not you or I, so there's no reason for us to be bothered about it. We may not even agree with the rules themselves, right?
That's right. But that's not the whole of it.
The context is not just religion, but certain obligations a person takes upon when he professes a certain ... path.
It could be a security guard who's not supposed to be smoking while on the job.
It could be a pilot who's not supposed to go scuba-diving the day before his flight.
The latter would have serious consequences on other people, but the former? It might keep him awake better, or it might help him deal with the stress. On the one hand, it harms no one. On the other hand, it's none of our business, especially when his job got nothing to do with us.
But to me, if it's not a misconception about the expectations of the religion/job, then I won't be a party to any flouting of the rules.
Human beings don't live for the sake of obeying rules, but it is a certain matter duty, obligation and honour to stand by your word when you give it.
And if you can't or won't, except for mitigating circumstances, then please do not profess that faith or take up that job.
But hold on, let's consider a scenario more serious.
You got a girl from a certain religious family whose religion dictates the parents decide who she marries.
She's not ready to renounce the traditional religion of her family, but she doesn't want to marry according to her parents' wishes.
Do I tell her unless she repudiate her religion, I won't help her but expect her to conform?
Heck no, if this is not a mitigating circumstance, then I don't know what is.
Do I now set myself up as a judge to decide when a person should follow /respect his religion and when he should be exempted?
That's one way to look at it.
But I look at it as Primum non noce, the Latin phrase that means "First, do no harm".
It won't harm the Tiger-loving Muslim if I buy everyone else one but a non-alcoholic drink for him, if his explanation is #2.
But the hypothetical girl might well come to harm if no one helps her.
But why make things complicated with these labels?
If Primum non noce is the issue, then buying the guy a Tiger won't really harm him either, right?
True, to a certain extent.
Whether he feels any guilt is his own affair. The other members of his religious community might feel differently about the gesture from *me*, though that is not the most significant issue.
More crucially, I'll feel the guilt for abetting him flout something he knows he's not supposed to, over something that I feel is not worth it.
| Rating: | ★★★ |
| Category: | Books |
| Genre: | Mystery & Thrillers |
| Author: | Jeffrey Archer |
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,130943,00.html?
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/odd_bully_lesson
I think the picture says it all.
From what I read, it seems that the mother does have a link with her daughter, and knows what's she's doing.
Would I do the same if my kids misbehave? I would if I deem it appropriate for what they did and it would help them learn something important, and learn the right thing.
Would this discourage other bullies? Maybe. More importantly, would this encourage other victims of bullying to speak up for themselves? I can only hope so.
In a previous week, I read of a mum who finally won her case against the local education board in her area for her son who had been bullied more than a decade before, when he was just starting school. When she complained to the school, none of the education staff took her seriously, dismissing bullying as a part of life.
Well, crime is a part of life, but nobody says I got to live with it. To do otherwise is to legitimise what is wrong and embolden the perpetrator.
Here's something we won't see in Singapore, I'm sure.
(stop blog now ... snowylad awake ...)
(Started the blog on Monday ... resuming this on Friday)
If you know what I'm talking about, then you might bet we'd see instead the figure of the father of the perpetrator kneeling.
It's official ... the paed pronounced it ...
After exhibiting cranky behaviour on Sunday, poor appetite and more than usual aggressiveness in nursing, it turned out poor Snowylad was not just suffering from a bit of runny nose and another round of teething. We were supposed to continue staying at granny's but decided to return home because of him.
A blister in his finger was detected by his infantcare teachers when we arrived this morning. Not for taking chances, we brought him to his paed only to confirm the bad news. Ulcers in his mouth only make it worse as his feeding will be off.
Poor mum and dad (but mostly poor mum) had been woken up at midnight, 2am, 4am, 5am by an inconsolable lad.
Poor mum is scheduled for a course which is hard to miss, as the overseas instructors will return after this round.
Dad is a less valuable member in his company who could take urgent leave at short notice (unless it is during peak period).
Well, Dad is also not so patient to coo and cajole Snowylad to eat his food. Or maybe Dad just don't want the learner to use fingers from the left hand in addition to spooning from the right hand for Snowylad to feed himself porridge. Yeah, I'm still finicky like that.
I know I got some online pals who volunteered to be on the babysitting list, but this is not the occassion for it.
Timing for HFMD is never good, but it is rather tough now. We have been relying on help from my MIL all these time, who's now scheduled for an op herself this week. We're not even telling granny that her precious hsing-kuah (心肝) got HFMD, lest the iron lady decides to postpone her op. Because of her op and admission to the hospital, she's already told us not to bring the kids to visit her to minimise exposure, so it does save us from having to tell her why she won't be seeing them for a while.
Whistling "Always look on the bright side of life" as I carried him around the estate to get fresh air and enjoy some windiness, and to let him munch some biscuits and then sleep.
Unlike granny, we the parents are more strict about not letting the kids move about when it comes to feeding, but munching biscuits (since his feed is off) during our walk-walk is different.
We'll see what tomorrow brings ... life is like a box of chocolates ...
http://news.yahoo.com/s/csm/20070510/ts_csm/cbelief_1
By default, despite what Hollywood and American TV series shows, churches still thrive in America and more dominant than most other beliefs, except atheism.
So in an effort to understand each other better, members from different churches and atheists got together for dialogues instead of confrontation. Pastors attend atheist gatherings to listen to them, and vice-versa.
Atheists visited churches and gave their candid feedback.
Atheist Hemant Metha who offered himself on eBay to visit a church of the highest bidder learned more about the churches. He's not converted, but his visits has humanised the christians. What he's says will convince him besides more rationalism and equality in churches would be undeniable proof of miracle.
Another atheist, Matt Casper, gave 2 very good takes.
First, on prominent megachurches and stylistically innovative churches, he asked "Is this what Jesus told you guys to do?"
Second, on a Pentecostal healing service, he asked, "If that man can heal, why is he ... hanging out in this building?... Get out there, then! There are people who need your help."
In Singapore, religious harmony has been mostly about people at grassroot levels respecting each other's boundaries and adhering to secular approach to avoid preference to any particular religion.
In America it seems, at least among the people involved in the dialogue, they do it differently. Instead of refraining from commenting on each other's beliefs, they invite frank opinions and feedbacks.
And that is something that is worth thinking about, for Singapore.
As of now, in Singapore, it is feared that negative comments can be made out of immaturity or lead to immature response, the society is still described as fragile. America, is not so fragile. It can suffer from devastations of various forms worse than Singapore and has the room, resources and more to rebuild itself.
And if history is anything to go by, that might be true enough. America as a nation as torn itself apart not once, but several times. Some of the more prominent milestones in its history - American Civil War, Segregation, Civil Liberties riots, 9-11 ... are beyond the scale of what Singapore has experienced or could afford.
But unless Singapore matures and developes its own resilience, it will not be able to keep what it has today.
http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070509/sp_wl_afp/swimfraitamanaudou_070509151617
Many French and Italians are vexed when a star French national swimmer Laure Manaudou, who holds 36 French records, six European records and three world records, announced she will move to Italy to be with her love, Italian swimmer Luca Marin.
Though she declared she'll still remain French national and swim for her country in the Beijing Olympics, many wondered how that would be possible.
The French Sports minister Jean-Francois Lamour said: 'It would be good if she realised that in the interests of sport she should stay in Canet.' (Manaudou's club in southern France).
Some French officials were reported to be worried that Manaudou would be urged by the Italians to become an Italian citizen.
The Italian leading swim coach, Alberto Castagnetti, was said to be reluctant to train her to compete against Italian's own swimming star, Federica Pellegrini. He said: 'Manaudou's love is very embarrassing for France and Italy. If Manaudou became Italian then it would be different.'
I never thought I'll live to see the day when a French or an Italian would actually call love / l'amour / amor as embarrasing ...
As a former competitive swimmer myself, I'm familiar with the feeling of competitiveness and rivalry ... but I always thought sportsmanship and the pursuit of greater heights as a goal for all sportsman which transcend personal ambitions.
Between getting the gold for myself and helping a fellow swimmer set a record better than I could have achieve myself, the choice was never in doubt. I would feel prouder for the new record than my own winning.
Am I the only person in the world to feel this way? I never knew for sure until I came across the manga/anime Hiraku no Go, ヒカルの碁, 《棋魂/棋靈王》.
In the series, when Hikaru's older friends from the Go-academy, Waya Yoshitaka (和谷義高) and Isumi Shinichiro (伊角慎一郎), realised Hikaru's inexperience was hindering him from passing the professional exam, they brought him to various Go-saloons to play against older players and gain more exposure.
Another fellow candidate, Ochi Kosuke (越智康介), was just the opposite, and told Isumi that helping a fellow competitor (only the top 3 candidates get to pass the pro-exams) to become stronger was foolish.
I never feel that way.
First, competition and rivalry is what helps motivate a person to aim further beyond his reach. They help set the bar higher. Some people prefer to become/remain big fish in a small pond, but that's not for me. I'm not into much competition nowadays, but I still believe in it.
Second, by helping others improve, we can actually help ourselves and venture beyond our own limits or potential. It takes us into a higher realm/plane (境界).
It is short-sighted of Alberto Castagnetti to feel afraid that training Laure Manaudou would disadvantage Federica Pellegrini. A true sportsman must not fear strong competition, but relishes the challenges that it brings.
Laure Manaudou could be the best training mate Federica Pellegrini could have, spurring the latter during normal training routines (if they train together).
Yes, inevitably, all human beings do have a limit to what we can achieve. It is possible that Federica Pellegrini's full potential is no match for Laure Manaudou's. But that is something that cannot be forseen or determined by human beings.
The only thing for certain is training with and against Laure Manaudou, Federica Pellegrini can only improve (unless she allows herself to be affected mentally).
It is all a matter of attitude, attitude, and attitude.
The frontier of human achievements is advanced not by hindering but by helping each other.
It hasn't been a good week for a couple of weeks now.
Mother-in-law needs to go for an op in end May. To avoid tiring her further, we asked her to stop coming over to our place in the afternoon. Instead, I fetch both kids from respective childcare/infantcare to bring them to her place for dinner. Then home for the night around 8-9pm. Quite tiring on the adults and the kids too. Realised that when both of them fell asleep in the car when we had to leave for home earlier one evening just after 7pm.
Meanwhile, the weather has been swinging between scorching hot and torrential rains. Me and wifey getting under the weather and really no energy to plan for mother's day celebration.
The kids schools did help them prepare some nice stuff though. Snowylass' had a nicely decorated trophy cup, a chain with her picture for the bag/phone, and a DVD recording of the kids from her school paying tribute to their mothers, singing and reciting in Mandarin.
Snowylad's was simpler, a cuppa-cup dressed like a rose and a card.
Wifey and I wanted to have a nice dinner by ourselves without the kids, I know, mother's day without the kids is unusual, but we do wanted a quiet time alone, and Snowylad has yet to learn to be patient after *his* dinner is done. But Snowylass begged and cried not to be left behind and in the end, mummy gave in. We told her though she owe us a big one, and we'll tag ourselves along when she's going out on a date when she's older. Snowylass cheekily said, "But mummy, daddy, you might be sleeping ..." I can't imagine what's going on in her soon-to-be-4 year old mind.
It was a last minute thing, and though mummy did feel a little bad leaving Snowylad behind with grandma, a nice sit-down dinner is just not possible with him at this time. We're still training him.
Most nice eateries with nice ambience were fully reserved, something we didn't have as we were only mustered our energy on the spur of the moment. Fortunately, we were early, so Sun with Moon gave us a nice alcove booth for an hour before their reservation was due to show up.
The dinner was quite nice (beef and crab), but what was nicer was the alcove design gave us an idea for how to create a nice dining area without using too much space, even awkward corners.
My only regret for that evening was we didn't have long enough for our dinner to settle so that I could try their dessert. Maybe for our next celebration.
I confess ... the recent spate of forum letters presenting differing views on bilingualism of Chinese Singaporeans ... has me somewhat bewildered.
As I wrote in an earlier blog on school bullies, I came to Singapore as a child without knowing a single English word and very little Mandarin. I was put in a lower-primary class well after the term started, and where I was 1 year older than all other students. My classmates took advantage of me and one even wrote in my Chinese exercise book the Chinese characters for "teacher king eight egg" (transliterate that into 5 Chinese characters and you'd know what I mean).
For a long time, I begged to return to where I came from, I pored through my comics and books we brought to Singapore which I could read, and I watched Malay programmes which at least I could understand.
Eventually though, through a lot of factors, including daily extra-curricular writing regime under parental supervision, reading, and watching TV series, I picked up both English and Mandarin, enough to score As in exams by the end of the second year I was in Singapore.
I credit the "Famous Five" TV series for getting me started to read Enid Blyton, and the student magazine "Young Generation" and 连环图 for keeping Chinese reading going ... oh, and the weekly TV magazine with synopsis of the wuxia serials.
My command of Mandarin never rose to be the same level of my proficiency in English, but I never had to worry. There was a whole world of Chinese literature from Journey to the West to Jinyong's novels to keep me going. Though my brothers did not do as well as I did in Chinese language exams, passing was never a problem for them either.
It was in secondary school that I was surprised to learn that some of my schoolmates who aced all other subjects with their eyes closed could come close to flunking Chinese. I noted they all have one thing in common - English was the *only* spoken language at home.
And the darn thing was, they'd rather spend more effort on their Third Language class.
At that time, I thought, well, it's all the parents' fault, or maybe it started with the grandparents earlier.
It was much later that I revise my opinion. Why should someone be made to learn Mandarin just because he is ethnically a Chinese?
There's the whole government approach about preserving one's culture, ethnicity and heritage of course, and how no matter where you go in the world, you will be despised for not knowing how to speak Chinese (or any Chinese dialect).
In recent years, LKY was reported in the press that he realised the pursuit of bilingualism was not a realistically achievable goal, on the basis that there is a limit to the learning capacity/capability of most people in general.
I do beg to differ. I'm not a particularly bright student. Sure I got into an 'elite' school, but I got no strings of awards to boast of.
What I did have was a conducive environment, some strict supervision in the beginning, and a reading hobby. It's not really a lot. Certainly nothing beyond the reach of other Singaporeans.
But of late, I realised that I did have something which other Singaporeans did not - the experience of being thrusted suddenly into a totally foreign environment at a young age.
Unlike other Singaporeans who grew up within their own (linguistic) comfort zones, there was none for me. It was a swim-or-sink situation, and I happened to be at an age group when the learning capacity is at its peak.
And this realisation also made me a little concerned for my 2 children - I can't replicate my own learning experience for them.
Snowylady's family is not English-speaking, so that provided an anchor for her as she went on to do double literature in JC (1 in English, 1 in Mandarin). She was also active in Theatre Practice, well known for its multi-lingual plays under Kuo Pao Kun. I might have a slight edge in written Mandarin, but she's way ahead in spoken Mandarin (and I'm banned from teaching my children Mandarin because my pronounciation is atrocious).
How my own children will turn out remains to be seen, but what is evident is that we as parents got our roles to play.
The exciting thing for me is though my kids won't go through the same learning experience for me, I'm sure I can make use of that experience in another way to benefit them in distinctive ways. The hard part is figuring out how.
| Rating: | ★★ |
| Category: | Books |
| Genre: | Mystery & Thrillers |
| Author: | Laura Joh Rowland |
http://newpaper.asia1.com.sg/news/story/0,4136,129914,00.html?
A multi-generation family torn asunder over monetary disputes ...
The way I see it, the person ultimately responsible was the patriarch Tan Poh Hiang (98 years old), because he wanted to keep all 9 his children (and by extension, the children's families) all around him.
From a medicine hall to a T-shirt printing company, he kept them together in 3 units (a shop and 2 shophouses) at Hock Kee road.
"There had never been a clear line between 'my money' and 'your money', said third son Loon Khoh, 61. It has always been 'our money'."
All that got derailed when the government acquired the family property for construction of a new MRT line and paid S$1.2 million for it. The money went into a bank account opened in the name of 3 of the brothers.
Yes, it has always been a very traditional Chinese mentality to think of clan living together and pooling the money together for common use, to be decided by the elders or the patriarch/matriarch.
But Singapore is not China, especially not China of the past.
People do not subordinate their lives to the clan. Each have his/her own aspirations.
What the patriarch Tan Poh Hiang did reduced the individuality of the sons and kept them from becoming fully-realised adults, taking full responsibilities for their own households.
In an earlier blog, I mentioned about social contract being necessary for different individuals who live in the same society to interact. If the terms of the contract are vague, what will be inevitable are frustrations, disputes, protracted disagreements because the boundaries are not clearly drawn.
That is why sometimes the most problematic disputes are within the family rather than between non-relatives.
We don't need a black&white for every little detail, but we need to make sure what is significant are covered properly, especially where monetary issues are concerned.
At 98, patriarch Tan Poh Hiang was very much a product of his times in terms of how he thought and wanted to keep his family together.
But as someone who did not form his own family within such a clan system, as someone who moved from China to Thailand in the 1920s, then to Batam, before finally settling in Singapore in 1950s, he had never experienced what his children and their families would go through. He was at the top of the pyramid right from the start.
No wonder he did not forsee his children's family members would feel strongly about whether they are getting what they perceive to be their fair share.
He just wanted his children and his grandchildren to be just that, without really understanding what makes them tick inside.
I know I'm basing these thoughts on my own personal experience with my parents and the extended family, that I'm seeing the Hock Kee House family saga through my own past.
From bitter lessons learned the hard way, I'll have my children set up their own nests when they are grown up. I'll keep in touch with them, continue to love and support them, but will make it clear they will be their own persons.
Assuming we all continue to live in Singapore, will I actually dare to let my daughter move out to a place of her own when she's earning her own keep but before she gets married?
As much as the father in me wants to continue to protect and care for her, I must encourage her to do so.
I'm very pro-family. I am also aware that a young professional staying on his/her own can become very selfish and self-centred when he/she does not have to take care of another family member (a contributor to divorce rates, I'm sure).
I think it's very much to do with the earlier upbringing. When they come of age, they come of age. If they have been raised being pro-family, then that's all I can do, except to pray they will meet life partners who are just as pro-family.
The 2 articles from TNP on bullying in school reminded me of my own experience when I first moved to Singapore.
Not being able to speak English and very little Chinese, I too was the target of bullying among my classmates. Fortunately for me, I made some friends who took the same school bus together and I was not alone like many victims reported in the paper. Fortunately for me too, I finally recognised I was being unjustly treated, and fought back.
I surprised myself then when I discovered I was stronger that the bullies. In a one-against-two fight, I knocked both down. That was in lower primary. Nobody from my level ever raised a hand against me after that.
In upper primary, I encountered bullies from those in extended monolingual class (a system scrapped by now). They're older, and bigger.
Whether it is through innate wisdom or sense of self-preservation, I avoided engaging them physically but just stood my ground. And they learned soon enough I had no qualms reporting them to the office.
The first time I did that, the discipline master in the office actually sent me to go up alone to the bully's class to summon him down to the office. Fortunately, I was too inexperienced to recognise what a stupid thing it was for the discipline master to do.
Walking ahead of me, the bully punched his fist to the wall on the way to the office, and there, I witnessed him being caned. Much later, I was told that the bully tried to find out from my classmates how I go home from school, but no one dared to say anything. Ironically, that particular classmate was someone I didn't like, but my friend was telling me to ease up with him. I'm not a perfect guy either. In any case, I never tried to hide my movements so if the bully spied on me, he'd find out eventually.
At that time, my deduction was bullies mentally sized up their potential targets.
There were those who are too timid to resist. They're the easy ones, fun to pick on. They 'play the game'.
There were those who fight back in such a way they descend to the same level as the bullies. These become "bad boys" too in the eyes of the teachers. They 'play the game' too.
Then, there are those who refuse to play the game, like me. And the bullies avoid antagonising us.
Mine was a neighbourhood primary school, straddling between HDB estate and landed private housing estate. Eventually, I see enough of them outside school in the local neighbourhood and they stopped pretending to be aggressive to me.
Can't say we're friends, we're not. But it was a strange feeling when I realised these bullies are just ... acting. I'm not sure if it was a role expected of them being in extended class, or what reason.
I'm glad I stood up for myself. Now, I got to look out my own children growing up and encountering their own bullies.
But the worst bully in my primary school were not those over-aged kids. It was my first form teacher who taught Mandarin.
She was very snideful of new students who for whatever reason, she took a dislike from the start. I was not the latest student to join her class that year. There was another student, and on his first day, she actually said of the student "也不是什么好东西". And he had not done anything wrong.
It was my first time in a strange foreign land. What do I know about what I'm supposed to do when given donation card (don't even know what they were then). I didn't understand the instruction, and didn't understand I'm supposed to bring them back, with some money. And I didn't understand the repeated reminders ... until once she got so fed up she pulled my ears.
And not only did she denied she pulled my ears, she confronted me in front of the whole class about it. My only regret was I was too young to do anything else but keep quiet to her accusations. I did remember tearing in silence.
First, the Singapore zoo announced in 2006 that it will transfer Inuka to zoo in a more suitable climate after his mother passed away.
This month, it reversed the decision citing that Inuka is no longer young, and it is acclimatised to its living conditions.
For those who are not aware, see http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Inuka for a quick overview.
I thought the whole decision was quite unfair to Inuka.
He's been born in captivity, and always had the companionship of other polar bears all his life. When he was born in 1990, there was his father Nanook, his mother Sheba, and Anana, a female polar bear caught in the wild.
Nanook was caught in the wild at 11 months old and came to Singapore zoo in 1978. He died in 1995 after suffering from chronic heart and lung disease. He was 18 years old.
Anana was also caught in the wild, came to Singapore in 1979, and died in 1999.
Sheba was born in captivity, and was 14 months old when she came to Singapore from Cologne Zoo (Germany). At 29, She's well over the expected lifespan of a polar bear in captivity (25 years) now.
While polar bears in the wild are solitary, it was a necessity due to relative scarcity of food. Bear cubs leave their parents when they mature (sexually), around age of 2-3 years old.
During my last visit to the zoo recently, Inuka brought a piece of fish to his mother. He cannot be judged like a polar bear in the wild for his life expectancy, behaviour and mental conditions.
I think nothing could comfort his loneliness when his mother, who have been with him since birth, passes away. Nothing the zoo keepers could do would alleviate that.
At the same time, he had been deprived of a "normal" life, no chance of meeting a girl so to speak, nothing has been really normal his whole life, not the least the small enclosure he lives in.
I called the zoo, I wrote to the press, asking them to give Inuka a chance at life.
Yes, in hindsight, the zoo has admitted it was a bad idea to breed polar bear in Singapore. Nothing can be done to change the past.
But something still can be done for the future. Inuka still has a chance for some semblance of "normal" life cycle if he goes to another zoo where there are other polar bears. At least the companionship of other polar bears, even if in captivity.
At this age, Inuka still could potentially live another decade. I wouldn't want him to be alone until he dies.
