Said my beloved about myself.
My whole life, I had never challenged myself to high expectations.
This bombshell came after nearly four decades of existence, but I have to admit it's true.
Maybe I do know something about my own lack of achievements, lack of discipline and perseverance, and hence, I put a lot of hope into my children.
Especially on one who seemed to take after me.
I hope it's not too late, for myself too.
不要骗我。要骗，就要骗一辈子。
I still remember the above corny line from some HK script ... said by a woman who would opt that the man she loves be with her forever, even if he lies to her.
That very much parallels the feelings expressed by Marilla Brown (acted by the gorgeous Lauren Bacall) when her husband Mike Hagen (acted by Gregory Peck) came up with one outrageous lie after another to hide the fact that the pin-up model Lori Shannon (Dolores Gray) was an ex-girlfriend of his, in the movie "Designing Woman".
Lauren Bacall was cast in the role of an "uptown girl" fashion designer who, of course, got to meet the ex during a photoshoot of her designs, recognising Lori Shannon from her legs, which she had seen once from a torn scrap of photo found in Mike's apartment.
Didn't take the 2 women long to discover their relationship via a mutual man ...
Marilla (Bacall) was upset that Mike lied, but Lori sagely told her to leave it alone, and that she (Marilla) will find it pleasing (a doozy) seeing all the antics Mike kept trying to come up with to hide his past just to avoid the possibility of upsetting his new wife.
And at the end of the show, just when we thought Mike would confess, he came up with yet another wild story and Bacall ended the film with a voice-over narration, admitting that she found it a doozy ...
Since these 2 shows, I've always wondered ... are women willing to have their men lie to them ... as long as the men do it with the intention to keep the relationship?
It's not new, but it seems more nowadays are asking to allow dual citizenship with some reasonings which are totally untenable when put to scrutiny.
First - an answer to brain drain of Singaporeans migrating overseas, as per last Friday's Straits Times report by economist Professor Hui.
I wrote to the newspaper a rebuttal but it didn't seem to be selected for publication.
First and foremost - allowing these Singaporean "talents" dual citizenship won't do Singapore any good. Most of the time, these Singaporean talents are already working overseas for years - so offering them dual citizenship wouldn't bring them back to Singapore.
Second, many of them found working and living environment overseas most condusive to fulfilling their potentials - bringing them back only underutilise their talents since Singapore cannot offer the same thing here.
Third, if they want to return in the future, it'd be because of friends and families here, not because they still retain nominal citizenship here.
So what's the point of getting more "phantom citizens" who aren't contributing here in the first place?
Prime Reason number 2- attract foreign talents to sink roots here without giving up their native citizenship.
Hey, if they got good reasons to be here, they'll be here, citizenship or not. And if they got no good reasons to be here or better reasons to go elsewhere, they'll leave and renouce Singaporean citizenship even if they had taken it.
Prime Reason number 3- to allow children of mixed nationality parentage a fair choice.
Heck, when children grow up, it is their own personal decision what citizenship to take up. It can be the father's, the mother's, or something else altogether.
Citizenship is not a requirement for children to inherit cultural legacies from their parents.
I'll teach my kids to be good citizens, but I won't tell them they cannot change their citizenship.
Certain countries can afford some of their citizens to give priority for national duty to another country - Singapore is not one of them.
http://news.sg.msn.com/commented/article.aspx?cp-documentid=3709347
Minister Mentor Lee Kuan Yew admits Singapore's billingual policy started on the wrong footing in the 60s because as the system's chief architect, he was led to believe it was possible to master two languages equally well.
As a result, Chinese lessons were pitched at too difficult a level and this "turned students off completely," he recalled, adding that he now wants Chinese language teachers to make learning the mother tongue fun for children.
Shouldn't all subjects be made to be fun for students to learn?
In 1979, I first came to Singapore as a student when I was 9 years old - and that was the time I started learning Mandarin. Until then, my only knowledge of the language were common terms such as to eat and to sleep.
It took me several years to learn the language through school, through conversing with schoolmates, through reading, through watching television series.
Subsequently, I learned it well enough to score A's for Mandarin as a second language in the PSLE, GCE 'O' and GCE 'AO' level examinations.
I do not think there was anything wrong with the methods used in teaching Mandarin.
Upon reflection, I believe learning any language is a matter of opportunity, motivation and choices.
Opportunity is created by the environment so use the language at home, in school and among friends.
Motivation depend on whether there is anything that would interest the student in using the language - I was keen to read comics of Doraemon, Journey to the West, as well as watching kungfu television series and movies, and when I was older, to read wuxia novels and Romance of the Three Kingdoms.
Choices is about the decision by the individual. We all have 24 hours a day, and we need to decide what to do with our time - be it to go gallivanting with friends, reading, playing sports or something else.
Teaching style is only one of the factor in a student's grasp of a language.
As a student, it never occurred to me that it was an option NOT to learn Mandarin, anymore than it was not to learn English, Mathematics or Science.
I went through the education system in Singapore through the 1980s and almost all my Mandarin teachers were Chinese-educated.
I believe parents should ask themselves what part have they played towards their children's learning of Mandarin. No change to the teaching style would make any difference if the parents send a message to their children that Mandarin is not something that their children must learn, especially by not using the language at home at all.
While I believe there will always be areas for improvement in teaching styles, that observation is not unique to Mandarin but applicable to all subjects.
Someone posted:
Thursday, November 19, 2009 2:43:35 PM
Thanks for this opportunity to share here. I was studying in Australia from 1994 to 1995 and this nice Aussie English Man walked up to us a group of Singaporean Chinese and asked me why are we not communicating using mandarin and instead using their english.
Well, first of all, we speak in English too because we are Singaporeans, not Chinese nationals.
While I am comfortable in using either Mandarin or English, we should not let others decide what language we Singaporeans should converse in based on our physical appearance and ethnic background.
Second, the Australians could harldy claim to monopolise the English language, so I would have replied I was not speaking "their English" but "our English".
Thursday, November 19, 2009 2:43:35 PM
He commented that we spoke horribly with other languages included (ie. Singlish).
The British might have thought Aussie-English was horrible, but so what?
Thursday, November 19, 2009 2:43:35 PM
In-addition, he was curious too that some of us uses name like John, Albert, Ann instead of our own given names.
And what's his own name? If he's descended from British migrants, then he'd probably be of Celtic or Gaelic etc., origin, but he didn't continue using Celtic or Gaelic names, did he?
We are Singaporeans, not Chinese (nationals). There is nothing wrong with Singaporeans adopting and evolving, just like how the Canadians, (US) Americans or Australians did.
Thursday, November 19, 2009 2:43:35 PM
So there was some exchanges and understanding with my Aussie classmate. I have been always reminding myself and kids to speak proper language and we should not mix them.
This part I can agree with.
I wonder how they sound in Cantonese, anyone?
http://www.talkingcock.com/html/sections.php?op=viewarticle&artid=6
Steven Covey's famous 7 habits for successful people are nothing more than a free adaptation of Hokkien phrases.
So why pay thousands of dollars to listen to ang-mors like him when your parents, wives, husbands, and even the auntie-auntie who sweeps the floor, can give you that kind of advice every day?
Habit No 1: Be Pro-Active
Kin Ka Kin Chiew (fast leg, fast hand) - 快脚快手
Habit No 2: Begin with the End In Mind
Ooh Tao Ooh Buay (have head, have tail) - 有头有尾
Habit No 3: First Things First
Chik Hung Chik Hung Lai - Ban Ban Lai - ????来, 稳稳来?
(One thing at a time, slow and steady); or
Cho Tow Seng (do first) - 做头先
Habit No 4: Think Win-Win
Long Chong Ai Yarh (want to win in everything) - ????
Habit No 5: Seek To Understand Rather Than To Be Understood
Cho Lang Ai Eh Beng Pek (you must be understanding) - 做人要??明白?
Habit No 6: Synergize
Tai Kay Ai Hup Chop (all must co-perate) - 大家要合作
Habit No 7: Sharpen the Saw
Toh Bua Lai Lai - 刀磨利利
