Got the link to this video from talkingcock.com
Personally, this is just a very inaccurate analysis of the problem.
Kids don't just keep throw tantrums naturally - they learn whether it is effective by the response by adults to their tantrums.
Depending on the venue, I'd either appreciate parents of tantrum throwing kids to bring them away, or just ignore them instead of giving in.
this commercial (which is banned in most countries I think) has been floating around for a while. Doesn't say much for talkingcock.com if they think this is the funniest commercial ever and give hints as well that the content of their site is of similar low quality, which may be why I don't frequent their site at all.
ReplyDeletePertaining directly to the thrust of this commercial, well, it is suppose to appeal to certain demographic in certain countries. i can imagine many a western reader, having a laugh, internally agree that kids are a bad idea and look out for a certain brand the next time they need contraceptives. So in that sense, i say this is an effective commercial.
I actually agree with Snowy about learned behaviour. In fact most of the little ones start learning when they are in their mother/father/grandfather/grandmothers/the caregiver's hands. They knew exactly which button to push to get their demands met... so we have a lot of unlearning for parents to do... stop giving in to them... take them aside and let them go crazy once a while, they will learn that all the temper tantrums wont bring them what they want, they will stop... in fact some children enjoy testing their parents.. once they find they could not do with one parent, they try it on the next, and then the list goes on.... then they check out the at home if they do what they do, they might get dire consequences... so the will try it out when there are company... or when out of the house... especially in the supermarket... demanding to get what they want...
ReplyDeletewell, this kid is a headache ! I usually won't let this type of kid have anything just because they cry and throw tantrums in public.
ReplyDeleteHe reminds me of my ex-neighbours three hyperactive kids, very naughty, always quarrelling with each other, throw tandrums but the mother just don't have the patient with them and end up always beating them and as a result, they became even more rebellious and doesn't behave well in public.
I've a way to deal with my little naughty nephew, he can do whatever he wants in his house but I will make sure he obey the rules in my house. His parents scolding have no effect on him at all but he dare not make a move when I scolded him because he knows his mistake. I don't beat him but I like to give warning signs first before he try to do something funny.
Yup, kids do learn when there is a limit and where there isn't.
ReplyDeleteAnd some parents/teachers wonder why their charges will listen to others but not to them ...
Kids are very intelligent unless the parents are very strict about their behaviour.
ReplyDeleteThe child will use crying and tandrums as a way to test their limits to see they can go. Most parents wouldn't have the heart to beat them and kids are very observant, even baby would observe the way adults talk. I once noticed a baby trying to concentrate and looking very hard when two adults were talking, though the baby doesn't know how to talk, they will try to follow the lips movement.
My nephew loves to observe when we talk and probably wants to join in if he can.
We don't have to beat them ... just be patient and let them finish their tantrums, without giving in.
ReplyDeleteThe challenge is like, if we go to the supermarket and it happened like the video.
And letting the child throw tantrum there is not an option.
Would the parent be willing to forgo the original purpose of going to the supermarket, turn back home, just to let the child know what one considers more important?
Or let the child go hungry rather than feeding the child the food he demands?
Or let the tickets bought for a show go to waste rather than giving in during or just before showtime?
A very tired parent after work is very tempted to take the path of least resistance.
My own temperament is such that I run more of the risk of failing to understand my children's unspoken needs which they didn't know how to express properly, rather than giving in.
And I always try to keep that reserve of strength to avoid being drained after work. One never knows what will happen with children.
Still, it is very heart warming to me that when I punish one of my children by sending him/her to the naughty corner (which is any corner available and suitable at the time and place), the other not-so-guilty child would go and keep his/her sibling company and take the punishment together.
If this is not a commercial, I would suspect this kid has OCD.
ReplyDeleteNo, if real life, he's just a normal kid, really.
ReplyDeleteIndeed, this is a common perception and trouble begins when parents refuse to think there is anything wrong with their kid - pride, perhaps.
ReplyDeleteIn this commercial, the child's behavior was obvious. IMO, a normal kid don't always bahave that way, really - screaming and shouting and rolling on floors.. if a child perform such acts routinely, then there could be a hidden medical issue in the child, and it is wise to seek professional help, medical attention..
I've seen normal kids behave like this but I'm not sure about the one on the vedio.
ReplyDeleteIf the parents give in, then the child will still use the same method in future.
The parents must first understand their own kids, it can grew up as a habit in them and probably getting worst in teenage years as a more rebellious kids.
My boy tried it on us, after observing another boy at his childcare do it.
ReplyDeleteAfter a couple of times, he realized it wasn't going to get him what he wanted, and he stopped.
Yes, he still bawled loudly sometimes when I told him it's bath time in the midst of him watching his Elmo videos. But he didn't roll on the floor, wave his arms and legs in the air anymore.
And in the supermarket, he knew better than take things off the shelves and throwing them on the floor.
But as in all things, there is work involve from all sides, and it's not just saying "No."
Kids are learning all the time, and they are curious and eager to learn new things.
So I took his increased activeness as an indication he is ready to learn more, and I started to explain to him why we're going to the supermarket, what are the stuff we see on the shelves, what was that thing that attracted his attention (and why we're not getting it), and why we're getting what we're going to get.
There're many ways to get them to learn and cooperate, and make things like trips to the supermarket an enjoyable experience instead of a battle.
I certainly don't want them to associate going to supermarket with me as "time to shut up and put my hands in the pocket." They have to be involved when they're ready, or it'll give rise to other problems in the future.
My brother bought a " Elmo " toy ( move and laugh ) for my nephew and thought he would like it but unfortunately the toy movement frightened him off and till today after a few weeks he still dare not touch the toy.
ReplyDeleteHe can be stubborn most of the time but he has one weakness--he love to eat ! So everytime before we gave him the food, he has to offer to everyone in the house but sometimes when when he saw there was not much he quickly put it all to his mouth !
OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder... actually, this child would not be classify as one... not in this instance at least. OCD would be something that would be the child having destressing thoughts and sometime act out some 'obsessive' ritual as a means to reassure and comfort self. It is sometimes beyond the control of the person suffering from it. It would be something simliar to Tourette Syndrome, but in the case of Tourette Syndrome, it is a nuerological problem, not a pyshological one.
ReplyDeleteIf there should be any classifications, I would be looking at a child with Autism (ASD), partly because the child would have the sweets in vision, and having it would be the only thing he want... and have no awareness of the people around him or the social implications - he certainly could not see his father's disapproval, but that, his father was a barrier, denying him of getting what he wanted. However, having said that... his action generally would have been a result of him getting his way the first time round... this wpuld actually be a learned behavior, and certainly if there is anyone to blame it would have been the adult who had once given way to him earlier.
This child in the commerical is obviously not any of the above. He had lovely eye contact with his father - not a trait of ASD, and he was obviously aware of his actions. He knew that if he must get his way, he would have to take extreme measures... this was a deliberate act, and certainly not involuntary. He was just being bratty to get his way.
Obsessive in getting things they want. Yes You are right, Centaur. In fact, in some cases (according to some parents' feedback in a forum I am with), kids who are diagnosed with OCD also display a mix of some Autism and ADHD. TS is not as common.
ReplyDeleteThere are indeed genuine spoilt children around, like the one in the commercial. His motive was very obvious, hence the commercial. I for one can not tolerate children who misbehave in the public. My kids know me very well and they dare not pester me to buy anything for them, even when they were toddlers. In fact till today, they never do. It was very often me who ask them if they need anything at all. I can almost imagine myself drag the kid in the commercial out of the supermart and ground him for a week for misbehavior.
But if any kid throws tantrums continuously for the slightest matter, or at times even cry for no apparent reason and uncontrollable, then it is wise to get professional help.
kekeke, actually, in most cases, parents are the first teachers and professionals... either be it good or bad... but you are right, if the child persist in something, lacking in eye contact, or problem with eating, pickly about food - all the time... note: all the time, inspite of all the necessary avoidance of teaching a behavoir, it is time to get the professionals in.
ReplyDeleteprecisely. It is very critical that parents observe their kids.. lacking in eye contact, yes thats the first sign.
ReplyDelete;-)
Well done and well said, papa Snowy!
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