Maybe I should just make them wear warning tags that says "Home-fed kids, do not feed them anymore" ...
For 2 consecutive weekends, my 2 kids were brought by their maternal uncle and his wife to gatherings where they, as my wife described after she found out what took place, ... 骗吃骗喝.
The first was when wifey and I attended a wedding dinner and left them at my in-laws' place. Ever since we had children, we were never able to stay long for wedding dinner, usually just dropping in to say hi, and if we're lucky, remain long enough for a couple of courses to be served before we have to rush back to put the kids to sleep.
We probably won't have to do that if the dinner really started at 7:30pm as the invitation card stated, but this is Singapore, I got to 入乡随俗 even for my own wedding ...
That's how it was with Kit Meng's wedding, the weddings before that, and weddings after that. The only wedding dinners we remained more or less throughout the entire event were those of my brother's and Snowylady's brothers. (Will be going solo for GZ's wedding, will see how it goes.)
Anyway, 2 Saturdays ago, to give my MIL a break, Snowylady's youngest brother took them to his in-laws' weekly clan gathering.
We only got to know about it during the wedding dinner when I received the SMS that went "We took your kids to ...." Seriously, from any other sender, I'd have called the police at once, but this uncle is Snowylad's godpa after all ...
When we arrived at the scene of the crime, it was too late ... the "dynamic duo" had completed their song and dance act, quite "innocently" prompted the aunts there to feed them all manners of goodies, uhm, or should it be called "baddies" since for one they were already fed their dinner, and two, those stuff aren't exactly calorie-free? Pineapple tarts, red-bean soup, green-bean soup, *sigh*
When his godpa's FIL playfully "spank" him, despite not being able to speak (properly), Snowylad somehow identified the "correct" aunt present to be his 靠山, complain to her and got her to protect and pamper him ... if he is that perceptive now, he'll be a bigger handful in the future than I feared.
The last Saturday, it happened again, godpa brought them to his estate's RC potluck & karaoke event. At first, I thought okay, let them go down and have some fun. But wait a minute, what if they started gorging again ...
This time, Snowylady said to relax ... let godpa godma pamper the kids a bit ... I was told not to go down and interrupt. I guess she must have told them not to let the kids oversnack.
Nonetheless, when they came up, I learned the duo managed to 骗吃骗喝 again.
Somehow, even though during karaoke, regardless of the song being sung, Snowylad insisted on singing "We will, we will rock you" and Snowylass only wanted to sing 小白船, I was told they managed to hog the limelight without adverse effect.
I concluded the residents were kind: the duo are cute, but they're not invincible. And they cannot tell when they are being humoured by the adults. Snowylad was sincere when he gave each of them a hug when told to say goodbye, but won't mean much if he thinks he can smile his way out of trouble, even if it was unintentionally caused.
There're things they must learn, and they're not too young. It is not necessary nor beneficial trying to teach them using the harsh approach, but an indulgent response is quite misleading too.
I love my kids, and the best for them is to be firm, fair, consistent, and remain even tempered, so that they'll realize and appreciate when it is time to be serious.
Snowy, it must be the hour... :-) You worry too much.
ReplyDeleteThe best way for kids to learn proper behaviour is to lead by example, it is worth a thousand remonstrations.
I am somewhat puzzled at your worries when your youngest is barely toilet-trained. Relax, being a parent by default adds enough stones to your mental burdens without needing you to think up new ones. In life we will have various influences, subjectively some may be good, some bad, the emphasis on 'subjective'. It is how we grow and mature. As the primary role models how you and the missus conduct yourself and handle matters will have the biggest influence on the kids. So don't think too much of it, just be yourself, love your kids and enjoy yourselves. You will cross the bridge when you get to it.
Was I? I must have miscommunicated ...
ReplyDeleteTruth is I'm not really worried. My eldest learned when she was older, and the youngest is actually learning at an even younger age.
What I did read is some references cited 2 years old as age when they should be diaper-free, but again, I believe it varies individually as well as related to circumstances.
For us, I do believe that the absence of parents as primary caregivers has an impact on the kids and their learning process, be it in walking, talking, discipline as well as toilet-training.
So it is not easy for me to pinpoint whether Snowylad/Snowylass not learning certain things well is more due to them individually or lack of consistency 'cos they're in the childcare for the whole day, and there's no single consistent guiding influence throughout the day.
It does come back to my own inner resentment that I asked Snowylady to go back to work for financial reasons (and hence putting the kids the whole day in childcare). This has a lot to do my own family problems with the older generations of my side that has caused a lot of strife and strain over many years now.
Discipline is perhaps what is lacking in most modern households. I'm glad to see that's not the case in Chez Snowy. Bravo!
ReplyDeleteAh, then it must have been the late hour.
ReplyDeleteI am glad to hear it. Having life struggles is what makes you truly cherish what you have. The offer to help babysit still stands by the way.
I remember I was like this before.. so I forbid anyone to bring my kids out without me following around.. not so much of the diet issues, I am ok with that actually..but more on their safety issues.. no not that I dont trust my family or friends.. just that I was a very paranoid mum and I tend to imagine my kids will somehow get into trouble themselves accidentally.. and I used to believe that only My very own pair of eyes are the most reliable and sharp to watch after my kids like a mother hawk.
ReplyDeleteNo worries, nowadays being new-age parents, we got to be smart and witty when managing kids is concerned. I dont directly tell my kids whats ok and whats not to do.. I tell them stories instead. Real life ones.. and tell them the consequences.. I find this way, they actually learn and understand better.
I stop nagging nowadays, btw.
;-)
Wow, did your sons tell you that themselves?
ReplyDeletenah....! When they start to listen to whatever I was saying.. XD!
ReplyDeleteGlad to know your kids know the classics，reflects well on their upbringing. Does Snowylass know all the verses to 小百船？
ReplyDeleteNo ... and she's still grappling with the correct pronounciations ...
ReplyDeleteSure she will get it soon, must ask her to serenade us with her rendition next time we see her.
ReplyDelete